Online I either see plus sized models or skinny models and nothing in between – I never see many photos of models my size. I don’t class myself skinny nor fat – I am ‘average’, but being online constantly is difficult when you can’t relate to anyone. I have been really struggling with buying clothes recently, I feel like all of the shops sizes have changed drastically or is it just me who feels like that? Before I could walk into the changing rooms with a size 8 knowing it would fit but now I can buy a size 6 in one shop and then a size 12 in another. It is just so irritating!
I have been an average weight my whole life, which makes me feel so guilty for even thinking of criticising my body online because I know I am not over/under weight. I am a healthy weight, just I feel like being average isn’t really spoken about often enough.
Being confident in my body has been something I have always struggled with and it is only recently where I have actually started to become comfortable with how my body looks and not want to change it. For years I have wanted to be thinner in some places and bigger in others but now I have just stopped caring and accepted that my boobs won’t be massive and my waist won’t be tiny. My bum will have stretch marks and my legs will have cellulite, and that’s okay. As you are reading this I will be preparing for my holiday and in the past the idea of going on holiday and wearing a bikini would terrify me, but now I feel happy with how I look. In reality most people on holiday are too busy concentrating on themselves to notice whether my bum might be a little too jiggly or how my stomach rolls when I sit down.
A Youtuber I have loving recently is Lucy Wood and my favourite series of hers is An Average Girl Tries and it is all about trying different clothing brands whilst being an average weight and I am LIVING for it. Pretty Little Thing sells some gorgeous clothes that I would add items to my basket but never go through with buying it because I know it would be the most unflattering thing ever and my self esteem would be crushed. But I think it is about time I start branching out and trying new style clothes and embracing how I look and not feel defeated and ashamed of having to size up.
The best tips I could give to people who feel the same as me is just to fake it till you make it. Some people may disagree with me but it is one tip that has always helped me. If you want to wear the crop top and cycle shorts, wear it. If you want to wear a bikini instead of a one piece, wear it. Fuck what anyone else thinks, you do you.
There’s been someone in my life who has helped me care less about what people think about me and I can’t thank him enough. For so long I’ve lived my life for others, I am a people pleaser and always have been. I’m not trying to make out that I am a total bitch, but I have stopped giving a fuck what people think about me. If you like me fab, if you hate me that’s cool too. It’s about time I start wearing what I want and doing the things I want to do rather than what I think people want me to do.
I hope this post hasn’t come across too bitchy or blunt. I just want to try and tell you all that its okay to be the size you are and there’s nothing wrong with tummy rolls and stretch marks on your boobs. It is okay to be you.
Until next time,
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