The F Word

I am back! If you follow me on Instagram you will know that I have been away in Barcelona living my best life and I am finally back with a blog post and it is another chatty one about a topic that is close to my heart. Feminism. I have always considered myself a feminist, I have never understood why men and women are still not equal – it absolutely baffles me. Welcome to another preachy post haha – this is becoming a bit of a theme isn’t it?

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We are pieces of meat to men. 

This is something I am SO goddamn passionate about and the main thing I want to focus this post on. I have had so many shitty men in my life thinking they own me and that they can just use me for sex. I recently had someone presume I dress for them and I was like what the actual fuck? It’s 2018 and men still presume I wear makeup and dress nicely for them. Like how cocky can you be! On nights out when guys come up to me with drunken sleazy slurs and touching me up I completely brush it off and consider it no big deal because I expect it to happen. But surely that’s not normal? The worst thing is when an older married man won’t leave you alone all evening with his hands everywhere and won’t take no for an answer – just get some respect and fuck off.

Men have to foot the bill.

I have heard so many horror stories from my dad about awful dates and the amount of money he has thrown on food and drink is ridiculous. It is nice to treat someone obviously, but the whole a gent pays for the bill thing is bullshit. When I went on holiday with my then boyfriend, my Mum asked me if he paid more money than me and I was so confused as to why he would as we both earn the same. As much as I love my mum I couldn’t disagree with her views more. Some women preach about being equal but then contradict themselves by wanting to the man to pay more, it’s so wrong!

Only men are allowed to sleep around.

Slut shaming seems old news now but whether I am out in town or scrolling down my feed I still see so much hate towards women who have regular sex. Women who sleep around are whores, but men who sleep around don’t get any hate whatsoever. Why is it bad for women to have one night stands but not bad for men?

We feel more pain than men. 

I have two guys in my life I consider my best friends and they suffer with depression and I have watched them suffer in silence for so long.  I have always been so open with my mental health and I know a lot of other girls are just as open with theirs, but society has drilled into men’s heads that they need to man up and that crying is cowardly. But they have just as many emotions as we do. When I google feminism the same sort of things come up: men should cook, clean, get paid the same as women etc. But there is absolutely nothing about the fact mental health awareness is still not equal between sexes. It’s okay to cry and express how you feel, it is not a sign of weakness.

You have to marry into another family. 

I love my last name and my family so much and I know getting married will not change that but I dread the day I lose my surname to another mans regardless of how much I love him. I know that you don’t have to take the mans surname and legally you can keep your maiden, but is it socially acceptable? Not really.

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I want to say a quick thanks to everyone who supported my last post. I was a bit worried about being so open and personal, but I am so overwhelmed with the love it received. I also had some personal messages that make blogging so worthwhile. I especially want to thank Kelsey if you are reading, it’s people like you that make me feel so proud of my blog.

Until next time,

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21 thoughts on “The F Word

  1. abbyuppington says:

    MATE. I am so with you on all of this. These ideas of toxic masculinity are so dangerous. For women and men. It is just so scary the boxes and ideologies society puts us in or tells us we need to feel.
    This was a fantastic post x

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  2. Makeup by Erin says:

    Yes!! I agree with you 100%! Well, I don’t really care about my last name at all, so I don’t really mind that one, but I totally agree with the others! xx

    Like

  3. Chanelle says:

    Yes girl, love this post! Your first point about men seeing women as pieces as meat actually is one of the reasons I’m a little scared to date again but also good in another sense because I have standards (not impossible standards) and know what I won’t put up with. I think online dating has a little to do with this in the sense lots of people assume everyone is looking for a casual hookup. #2 about men footing the bill, sure it’s nice but I personally don’t expect it. It’s different if they perhaps never offer to buy you lunch or do something nice as a treat… #3 about slut shaming is a confusing one because people can be quick to call a girl a slut but then there are those guys that expect things from girls in bed and if girls haven’t done them they are made to feel guilty/bad. It shouldn’t be about the number of people you’ve slept with but enjoyment and staying safe and as long as a person had a positive experience that’s all that should matter. #5 about taking a name is something again I don’t personally see I have to do. I know I want to get married one day and right I don’t know if I’d keep my name, take theirs or double barrel it. If a person tries to make you feel guilty for not taking their name I wouldn’t want to be around that kind of person. I definitely think it’s up to the two people in a relationship to have a conversation around that subject and let each person explain their thoughts and feelings.

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  4. Chloe Luna says:

    Woooooo yes girl, there was a post on Twitter the other day of a woman who had become a Dr, but her Dr name was her maiden name and people were like “…why isn’t it your married name?” and she was like “honey, because my husband didn’t train for 10 years to become a doctor.” I was like YESSSS xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hannah says:

    I love this post so much. I think there is definitely an imbalance when it comes to men and women and I love that you have addressed both sides of the imbalance (situations where women are unfavored and situations where men are). Blog posts like these are the way we are finally going to get equality for both sides. Thank you for sharing. xx

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  6. Amelia in Hull says:

    Girl this was an amazing post! I hate that there are some men out there who view a woman as a piece and assume that she dresses for them. It’s so wrong. By the way, hope you had an amazing time in Barcelona 😁 xx

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