If you are up to date with my blog then you will know that I am trying to better myself and something I am so guilty of is trying to please everyone and over apologising when I shouldn’t. This year has been so eventful and I have learned to put myself first for the first time ever and that means that I have more of a tendency to cancel plans without proper notice and speak more openly about how I feel. Even though being polite is something I am proud to be, I find myself aimlessly apologising for either things that aren’t my fault or even in situations where sorry doesn’t need to be said.
The biggest thing I apologise for is my feelings. As you all know, depression is a huge part of my life and I do struggle a lot and every time I have a bad day I apologise for it, but why am I apologising for something I can’t control? Most of the time my bad moods are caused by nothing other than the lack of chemicals in my brain so I feel like it’s not a valid excuse to be sad when I know I could be talking to someone who has just heard bad news or are having a stressful day at work. I am slowly learning that it’s okay to speak out about how I feel, whether I am sad for a reason or not. And if other people around me are sad then that doesn’t mean I have to hide my sadness.
Next is my appearance. Something I see all the time is people apologise if they’re not glammed up and I too apologise for it way too often. But realistically if I rock up to a coffee date in comfy clothes and no makeup I doubt my other half will even care, he would just be happy being in my company. Everyone is too worried about themselves to pay attention and judge whether your winged eyeliner is even or if you are wearing a baggy hoodie. So stop apologising and love yourself!!
This year I have really tried to sort out my priorities and have said no a lot more. My whole life I have been told to say yes to every opportunity, so I had a severe case of FOMO. But I quickly learned that it is impossible to see all of your friends, go to family parties, put 100% into your work and have hobbies. So I am trying to put my big girl pants on and actually say no to things that aren’t on the top of my priority list for that week. Sometimes there might not be a blog post uploaded, or I might not go for a pint down the pub and that’s okay, it doesn’t mean I am letting anyone down.
Not being ‘ladylike’
If you are a weekly reader of my blog then you will know how passionate I am about feminism and being equal is something I strive for and even though I have strong beliefs I sometimes find myself slipping into a cycle of apologising for not fitting into societies mould of ‘ladylike’ and contemplating changing. Should I only drink prosecco at a bar? Should I lose weight? Should I stop swearing? Should I always sit upright with my legs crossed? My answer to that is: No fucking way. For an example, if I burp I automatically apologise for no reason other than it’s not ladylike and not because it’s rude, but why? Why is burping, a normal body function, something only men can do? Fuck societies idea of a woman, if you want to wear clothes from the men’s department then do it, if you want to swear or shout or have one night stands, do it. Wear makeup or don’t, it doesn’t matter. Be you.
Not replying to a message straight away
If you are my friend then you will know how bad I am at quick replies, I always get distracted by the chaos in my day to day life. So saying ‘sorry for not replying sooner’ is becoming more and more common and I automatically get overwhelmed with guilt and I know that I am not the only one who feels obliged to reply quickly. But if they are your true friends then they will understand that you have other commitments that you can’t always drop.
Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed. What do you want to try and stop apologising for?
Until next time,
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