Overcoming Self Doubt

I don’t know about you, but I am my own worst enemy and never give myself enough credit where it’s due. All throughout my life I have allowed self doubt to become a big part of my day to day life, whether it be during education, work, hobbies or even in my social life. Along with the help of my therapist, I have been trying so hard to overcome the constant self doubt and I thought I would share my tips and tricks with you in today’s post as well as having a bit of a mental health natter. Disclaimer, this is a looong post so a big coffee is defo needed!

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I mentioned a while back I was undergoing CBT therapy because I came off my anti-depressants due to being pregnant. And as you can imagine, coming off my medication sent my depression and anxiety through the roof. Something I have always struggled with is not being confident in my decisions and this was magnified as soon as medication wasn’t in the equation. On the daily I would doubt everything I do from small things like if the meals I cook are nice, if my makeup is done to a good enough standard, if my content is worthy of viewing. Then there were bigger doubts like will I be a good enough mum, am I working to the best of my ability, do I make enough effort with the family or am I an embarrassment? I was even questioning things I say to people and whether that was the right thing to say. I have finished my course of therapy now and it has definitely helped me manage my anxiety better, here are my tips:  

Challenge it with the facts
I have found that this is the most helpful way to combat anxious thoughts because more often than not, they are all fictional thoughts. After making decisions I would typically make negative assumptions and create fictional scenarios in my mind. When a worry pops into my mind, I always try to make the effort to break that worry down and challenge it with the facts. Is my colleague messaging me about work because I done badly or is she just trying to clarify things for herself? Is that person actually judging what I look like or are they just looking at me because we’ve made awkward eye contact? 

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Keep a journal
Throughout CBT I documented my mood in a journal and admittedly it felt a bit odd at first putting all my feelings onto paper, but it definitely helped me identify my triggers. Before keeping a journal I was under the impression I was just sad most of the time because I was no longer on medication and there wasn’t much I could do about it until I am back on them. However, by keeping a daily diary I discovered that my mood is typically at its worst in the evenings when I am alone or on days where I have crammed a lot of activities into the day and I could also identify when I am at my happiest. This helped me plan my week and put methods into place to prevent having a low mood as much as possible. 

Give yourself credit where its due
I have always been horrendous at patting myself on the back, I always fixate on what I wasn’t as good at. Nobody is perfect, no matter how well they seem to have their shit together. Although I know this, I am guilty of always striving for perfection in all I do, which means that I am constantly beating myself up for when things are inevitably not perfect. A way of combatting this is by writing down all your achievements in a journal no matter how big or small. Identifying your achievements is so helpful for your confidence and you will end up shocking yourself at how well you are actually doing. There are so many things that are worthy of congratulating, whether it is doing the house work, going out for that coffee when you couldn’t be bothered or even getting out of bed in the mornings when things are really bad. 

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Recognise when you are doing it
The biggest way to break the self destructive cycle is to realise you are doing it and press pause. It can be so time consuming and certainly not beneficial at all to sit and question every single thing you do as what’s done is done and no matter how long you spend punishing yourself it won’t change the past. When I realise I am in a cycle of self doubt, I jot the worry down in my journal, question it with the facts and then try to refocus by using my senses. By recognising this habit, it stops it being an acceptable part of your day.

I really hope that you enjoyed this post and if these tips help at least one person then I am a very happy bunny. If you have any tips and tricks then please leave them in the comments below! 

Until next time,

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15 thoughts on “Overcoming Self Doubt

  1. nirajshah2003 says:

    I really love this blog post! Self doubt is hard to avoid sometimes, I have had those moments of self doubt. I like the advice of recognising when you are doing it, as the first step of solving any problem is recognising the problem exists in the first place! Thanks for sharing 🙂

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    • chloeburford says:

      I’m so so pleased you enjoyed this post, I hope you found it helpful. It can be so hard to combat self doubt with both big and little things, it can almost feel more normal to doubt yourself than be confident in your choices. Thank you so much once again 🙂 xxx

      Like

  2. ROLLY Mag says:

    These are great tips, thanks for sharing. I learnt the phrase ‘says who?’ as a response to doubt. If you’re answer is ‘my inner critic’ then you know not to listen 😉 xx

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  3. Cup Of Jo says:

    I couldn’t have said it better, I for sure have endured self doubt in my time and really it’s so inevitable.. so thank you for sharing your tips these coping mechanisms are great! ❤

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  4. sapphireroses says:

    I began writing a blog post similar to this but never published it – in a way I just vented my thoughts about self-doubt, anxiety and depression onto paper (well, on a computer). So I’m glad you’ve covered the topic. I definitely think I can incorporate some of these methods and approaches into my own life, especially the part about trying to not let my thoughts run away into the negative – making up scenarios which most likely will never happen.

    Thanks Chloe x

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    • chloeburford says:

      Writing everything down can be so helpful, we all need a good rant some time!! However, if you ever plan on uploading the post then I would definitely be interested in reading all about your thoughts. Creating false scenarios is something I am so guilty of doing and I am so pleased I worked through this with my therapist. Thank you so much for reading, I really hope these tips are helpful! xx

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  5. Hannah says:

    These are all such good tips and all ones that I have been told to use previously but never actually put into place! I love the idea of journalling about your mood so you can identify triggers and I think that is definitely something that I should start because I never know what is triggering my bad mood. Please know that you can always reach out to me if you are feeling particularly anxious or depressed. 🙂 xx

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    • chloeburford says:

      I definitely recommend trying them out if you are every going through a tough spot as they do help in the long run (I felt a bit silly doing them at first haha). Thank you so much I really appreciate it, the same goes for you. Im grateful for you reading this post and really hope it helps in some way! xx

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Karen Wodstrup says:

    This is such an important post! I am also
    my own biggest enemy. I too often forget to congratulate myself on my achievements and how far I’ve come and progressed on my own anxiety journey. It’s fortunately never been so bad that I had to take medication, but I’ve naturally still struggled with the bastard. It’s such a beautiful journey you’re on and if you doubt whether your post was good enough – then I simply have to say that it is more than good enough, it’s perfect ❤️ xx

    Like

    • chloeburford says:

      Ahhh this is the loveliest comment, thank you so much beautiful!! I definitely worried about whether this was worded right and good enough to upload so I am so so grateful that you enjoyed this and took the time to comment such lovely things. I too am my own worst enemy and it can be so easy to get trapped in an awful cycle of self destruction. I really hope these tips are helpful to you and you’re looking after your mind during this scary time. Sending you lots of love! xx

      Liked by 1 person

  7. gemmaajaynee says:

    This is such a helpful post, and hopefully others can look at it and it will provide them with useful tips! I understand the self-doubt thing and not giving yourself enough credit. But I am so much better, and I think congratulating yourself on those small victories really does help a lot. 😊 xx

    Like

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