Motherhood Fantasy vs Reality Collab

Hello angels, I am back with another collab and this week it’s with my Canadian blogger friend Jen from BossyBabe. As we are both mums it felt right to dedicate this post all about motherhood, the topic being: what we thought it would be versus what it actually is like. Being a mum is the best, most rewarding and proudest thing I ever will achieve, but along side that it’s the hardest and most challenging – I definitely didn’t give all the parents in the world enough credit before Poppy was born!

Disclaimer: I don’t want this to come across as if I am moaning or speaking negatively about motherhood as it truly is the greatest thing ever, I simply want to bring awareness to the struggles that come alongside. 

It’s not like what you see in films
You know on TV you see all of these radiant mums with their teeny days old baby showing them off to visitors and they are so glowing and full of love? Wrong. The first few weeks of being post partum, the last thing you want to do is leave your XXL pyjamas and comfy sofa and hand over your precious newborn baby to lots of people. Although giving birth is a beautiful miracle, it’s the least glamorous, there are so many side effects you may not even think of: hair loss, leaky boobs, night sweats, baby blues, and lets not even get started on the stitches. Although being in lockdown came with A LOT of negatives, spending the first couple months in our own bubble and having Harry here 24/7 was so good for us. 

Even though you’re not at work, you have less free time
I always envisioned once I am on my maternity leave, I will have soo much free time to put into my blog, work on improving the house, do all of these fun activities and get back to my pre pregnancy body. But oh my god, you NEVER have free time and I can now laugh at all of these goals and plans I had before Poppy as it was so naïve of me to think those things. I don’t get enough time to enjoy a hot coffee and reply to my texts let alone go to the gym multiple times a week haha!

acs_0715

The love you feel is stronger than you ever imagined
I always thought I knew what loving my baby would be like, until it actually happens. I don’t think I have sobbed as uncontrollably as much as I did when the midwives delivered Poppy and put her on my chest, the sudden overwhelming whoosh of love hits you like a tonne of bricks. There isn’t an adjective out there that is good enough to describe the level of happiness and love you feel.

Even if you thought you wouldn’t, you change as a person
I have always been a worrier, ever since I was young. I would worry so much about the tiniest things, but since having Poppy I have noticed myself not worrying about all the trivial things I used to, like whether someone judges me for something embarrassing I say or if I go out in public with no makeup and don’t look my best. Since going through labour and all the challenges that come with raising a baby, I am a much stronger person than I once was and let’s be honest I no longer have time to worry about the irrelevant shit. However, I wish I could be just as positive about my physical changes. I wish I could come on here and preach about how much I appreciate my mum body but 6 months later I am still trying to accept how I look now. I remember looking in the mirror a couple days post partum and it was genuinely like seeing a stranger – but I would happily sacrifice my body and everything more for my beautiful baby girl. 

acs_0716

You won’t be perfect as the perfect mum doesn’t exist
I think its completely normal to want to be the perfect parent as it’s the most important job you’ll ever have, but you also need to remember that even if you are doing a brilliant job you will probably think of something you can improve on (mum guilt is real). In pregnancy I envisioned having a beautiful natural water birth and then breastfeeding, but the reality is I ended up in theatre and Poppy wouldn’t latch. Even now I put an unrealistic pressure on myself to be the perfect mum you read in books or see online: wean her on homemade purees, do gentle parenting and never raise my voice but let’s be honest it is so unrealistic to put an immense pressure on as you are only human and parenting is bloody hard work, you can’t be perfect 24/7. If you’re a mum then I am here to remind you that you are doing great and deserve a break from the pressure!

Thank you all for reading, as always I appreciate it so much. I urge you to head over to Bossy Babes blog and read her post on this topic as she is such a brilliant writer and shares her stories with extraordinary lessons. Some are also very hilarious! Her favourite post of mine is The Game of Guilt, where she talks all about the pressure us mums go through, I defo recommend reading it.

Until next time,

68367693633427F7A92AA6FE067EB16F

RECENT POST | INSTAGRAM

14 thoughts on “Motherhood Fantasy vs Reality Collab

  1. bosssybabe says:

    First off, Poppy is sooo flipping adorable!!!! Can’t stand it! 😍😍

    Second, thank you so much for working on this collab with me and being patient with my timelines lol…

    Third! Your post is sooo relatable! Especially the part about making maternity leave goals lol I was the most motivated and had the most time the first two weeks of mat leave before she was born and the last full month before I had to go back (only bc she started daycare) to myself LOL

    Like

    • chloeburford says:

      Omg thank you so much angel!!! I might be a bit biased but I think she is such a cutie. It was so so much fun collabing with you, your post was just amazing and it was great to hear your thoughts. Haha I can’t believe I really thought I would achieve loads of amazing goals, turns out babys are a lot more demanding than you originally think haha! Thanks so much again for reading and commenting gorg! xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. debsf92 says:

    Poppy is such a darling girl 🥰🥰 so precious.. You are amazing Chloe and when you have a moment where you forget that I’ll remind you 💓

    Really great post giving us not mums yet an idea of what’s to come if and when we have kids ☺️ thank you for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

  3. gemmaajaynee says:

    You are stunning and Poppy is the cutest! I am not yet a mum but this was an interesting read and I guess until I am in that situation I won’t know how it truly feels. But you are honestly bossing it and I know you are an amazing mum! Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • chloeburford says:

      Ahh thank you so much beautiful, your kind words mean the absolute world!! All I ever want to be is a good mum so it makes me so happy you think I am. Mum life is definitely hard, harder than I ever thought but sooo worth it!! xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Chloe Luna says:

    Such an interesting read !! Poppy is gorgeous. Thank you for how honest you were here, it’s so important to know that not everything is always as it seems – we need more of that in the world, especially on the internet !! xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. petespringerauthor says:

    Hi Chloe. I decided to head over and sign up for your blog after reading your collaborative piece with Bossy Babe, who happens to be one of my favorite new bloggers. Take that as a compliment because I rarely sign up for any more blogs these days. It’s not like I’ve been blogging a long time either (a little over two years), but as a happily married guy of thirty-five years with a former challenging infant who has turned into an amazing adult, your post brought back lots of memories.

    Liked by 1 person

    • chloeburford says:

      Hello, thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment – I really appreciate it! Bossy babe is such a wonderful blogger, I’ll be sure to check out your content too 🙂 I’m pleased to hear this brought back memories for you, thank you so much once again

      Liked by 2 people

  6. cafebeauty2021 says:

    Lovely collab! I’m not currently a mother- and don’t plan to be for a long time- but I do occasionally love to read about motherhood posts. I found the fact that you change as a person, but in a not giving a shit type of way interesting! That was not something I thought of. Thanks for sharing, the both of you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • chloeburford says:

      Thank you so much for reading lovely, becoming a mum is so much more different than what you think it’ll be. It’s surprising how awfully portrayed parenthood is on TV! Thank you for reading once again I appreciate the support 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. crystalsandcurls says:

    GAH poppy is beautiful, Chloe! I think posts like this are so important – hopefully other new mums who may be feeling the same don’t feel so alone. It’s crazy, beautiful, and impressive all the work and stress that goes into raising a life! You’re doing amazing x

    Liked by 1 person

  8. 50shad3s0fjay says:

    Babe I honour and appreciate your honesty! How you feel is completely relevant and I applaud you for being so honest!! This post, as always, is so beautiful and made me feel so happy for you when you talk about the love you feel for Poppy and how when you gave birth and held her for the first time, the love you feel has no adjectives to describe how beautiful it is! I am SO happy for you! And girl you are the PERFECT mum for Poppy! She truly is such a lucky girl to have a mum as amazing as you are, all you can ever do is your best and just knowing you through the blogosphere I know what a beautiful soul you are, so Poppy is truly blessed to have you! You’re a great role model! Thanks for sharing gorgeous! I love you!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s